As a woman who's passion has been the newborn baby since she was practically a baby herself, as a woman who has been loving not only caring for the newborn baby but also caring for first time parents who truly are in need of someone experienced and professional to teach and guide them especially moms who are in such a fragile place during the post delivery period mentally, physically and emotionally. After hearing the many cries of clients, both men and women who are simply overwhelmed after being mislead in one way or another about how they need to prepare for brining their newborn into the world and failing to explain thoroughly what really happens when their newborn baby arrives qualifies me to enlighten those who are willing to listen to what is in store for them when their newborn baby or babies arrive. All you have to do is ask relatives, friends, colleagues who have recently become parents and I guarantee you that MOST will attest to what I am saying.
I think it is wise because it makes sense, and caring for a newborn is mainly about common sense, that is what got our past generations here, our great great grandmothers, our great grandmothers, our grandmothers, our moms, you and now your precious baby. Certainly we did not have the resources new parents have today so we relied on our family and our common sense and as it is said, if it ain't broke don't fix it. Too much researching and reading is going to confuse the best of us so go with what makes sense.
Today everything is about making money, we must survive but we must not mislead anyone, tell it like it is and make money when the time is right.
I will start with what I believe to be the biggest cause for PPD (Post Partum Depression) In moms.
Breastfeeding: beautiful, natural bonding. But that’s only half the story.
In my opinion, breastfeeding classes should not be given to first time moms before the baby is born. Absolutely no one knows beforehand who is going to be able to breastfeed and who is not. What I do know is how traumatic and painful it is when you feel prepared, but can’t practice what you have come to expect.
First time moms can have a terrible time when they find out that they simply will not have enough milk to feed their baby. Breastfeeding is best, but breastfeeding advocates can sometimes go too far, making a new mom feel like a failure, or even like less of a mother if she can’t produce all the milk her baby needs, or otherwise can’t make nursing happen.
Proponents say that the human race would not have survived if every woman couldn’t breastfeed. What happened before there was formula, or even before we had access to cow or goat milk? The answer is this: It took a village. If my milk didn’t come in, or wasn’t adequate, or came late, I would have sisters, neighbors, even my own mother there to nurse my baby. So please never think that new moms have historically shouldered their burdens alone.
Not knowing beforehand can be devastating to the strongest of women, because the first thing that is embedded in their heads is that formula is poison and that their child will not benefit as much from formula as they will from breast milk. Formula is the second best thing, and second best can be a lifesaver. Second best is not the worst. And anyone who makes a vulnerable new mommy feel lacking in any way is not a friend, and should not be trusted.
Breastfeeding is beautiful please do not get me wrong, I am pro breastfeeding but I believe that just like anything else you are planning to do for the first time, you need to educate yourself on the subject first before venturing especially when talking breastfeeding. Most first time moms put their whole heart and soul into it, some actually become obsessed with breastfeeding. Having your first baby or babies should be a joyous time, a time when you and your partner should enjoy while carrying the baby or babies but even more so when they come into the world and you begin living with them.
The truth is that not everyone is breastfeeding material so in my opinion before you get yourself all up for attending breastfeeding classes before your baby is born, do yourself, your partner, your pet even and your baby nurse (if you plan to have one) wait before you plan to attend any breastfeeding classes until after your baby is born and it is determined that indeed you are one of the chosen ones, one that is able to produce enough milk to feed one or even two babies should you be having multiples.
As a woman who has seen it just about all when it comes to everything related to moms, dads, newborns and their issues especially breastfeeding and getting the newborn on a working night sleep schedule, I speak from experience when I tell you that it is only too sad to watch a first time mom or any mom that gets her hopes up about breastfeeding to find out later that she cannot produce milk especially after she has:
1. Bought the pump (expensive)
2. Bought the accessories
3. Paid for breastfeeding classes for both you and you partner
4. Read the myriad of books and invaded the internet educating yourself on the subject
The above are things that you should stay away from until your newborn baby or babies have arrived, ONLY then would you or the lactation consultant, or your baby nurse know if you are going to be a milk producer, even if you are gushing after delivering your baby in the hospital, this does not mean that you are going to have enough… Colustrum is wonderful for all babies and the most important part for the baby to drink but to determine who is going to have enough milk, one has to wait till their milk fully comes in and though some are lucky, their milk comes in after a couple of days but also know that it can even take a couple of weeks for some or even longer for others.
In my opinion, you are setting yourself up big time for long bouts of depression, and pain. Breastfeeding is just like having a baby, only GOD knows the exact time the baby is going to come into the world, there can be predictions from the doctor, midwives, whoever but that baby will come when only he or she is ready to make that grand entrance. The same thing applies with breastfeeding. NO ONE knows ahead of time who is going to be milk producers and who will not so please take the breastfeeding issues with a grain of salt when pregnant and do not allow it to consume your mind. If you do, the outcome can be devastating and not only to you but to your husband or your partner, your marriage or relationship, even to your pets because they sense your anxieties. If you have hired a baby nurse, she knows the symptoms so very well and it is sad knowing what someone is going through and not being able to reach them because they have shut down and do not want to be reached, they are in total “Denial’ I have seen marriages wrecked because of this, I have seen moms turn into something unrecognizable, I have seen dads scared stiff of the person their wives have turned into and truly it is all very easy to control if you would just stay away from the topic until your baby is born and you know for a fact that you can feed your baby.
You simply have no idea how much sadness and anguish you are inviting into not only your life but the life of your partner and all of those who really care about you who will feel nothing but hopeless when this all unfolds. What you really need to know is that the one you really hurt is your baby or your babies if you have twins or multiples. The cry of a hungry baby is a cry that pierces even the toughest heart, you simply are clueless as to how sad the whole thing is so please think about this before you put your entire family through the agony, babies are suppose to be happy not made to starve because the mom wants to feed them breast when she really has no milk to feed them but because she is in total denial she fabricates all types of excuses of why the newborn is crying like:
1)Oh he only wants mommy to cuddle him
2) She is lonely
3) They are missing their mommy
And on and on, one can only stand and watch wanting to shake them back to reality. When a mother does not have milk, she simply does not have it and there are no miracle pills or potions that will make this happen so it is essential to keep a grip, to not loose it and a big part of this entire ordeal depends on having a partner that is supportive and that can talk to you and not be afraid to give their baby or babies formula if their baby is crying because he is hungry… I have seen in so many times and it can be prevented if you only wait until after your baby or babies are born to see what is what.
MY IDEAL FORM OF PREPARATION
"To be prepared is to be capable"
The first lessons both parents should consider taking is one that teaches them how to care for your newborn baby. This is a fact that every parent is going to live when their newborn baby or babies. If you are a parent who plans to acquire the services of a baby nurse that is wonderful, as a baby nurse myself I feel that if you can afford it, then by all means because having a baby is no picnic but it would be very calming and less stressful for everyone if you knew what is to come. "To be prepared is to be capable"
Another great advice I will give you is to avoid listening to those who boast about how easy it was for them to breastfeed and how their child sleeps through the night from the day it was born (God bless them) Usually the calm before the storm though. Focus only on you and your situation, always remember especially those of you who had it hard conceiving a child, that all the crying, bawling, sleepless days, zombie nights soon will become a thing of the past, all of the above are blessings because after all, you have your bundle of joy. I were you, I would sever ties with anyone who boasts to you especially when they know that you are experiencing hard times with your baby or babies.
I have written a book "Newborn Care Made Simple" This book is like no other book you have read, trust me on this, it is very personable, it's not fancy just writing put together by me.
This book gets real about the biggest challenges of newborn care. I tell the whole truth about breastfeeding, sleep schedules, postpartum depression and, of course, pampering and nurturing your magical little baby!
Most new parents simply aren't prepared for life with baby. For example, no one's denying that breastfeeding is best. But without a proper perspective on all the challenges you might face, your marriage, your newborn, and your sanity can suffer.
I will guide you safely over rocky terrain, down the right path to skillful newborn care building you up till you feel confident in your knowledge and skills, only then will everyone enjoy the journey! It's all about being prepared and knowing what you are going to be up against that will make it all work...
THE NEWBORN BABY
When we are talking babies it is wise to have a great sense of humor, this is what has gotten me this far! I have always told moms that newborn babies are like "lil terrorists" They are big time manipulators knowing from such an early age how to pull moms strings. I have seen these little people make moosh out of the strongest of women. But as their parents and first teachers we have to be a bit stronger than them and that in itself can be very difficult to do but you need to think this way, it's either you allow them to terrorize you or you be a bit stronger than them mentally to have some peace.
Again, preparation, knowing what is coming and being ready to tackle it head on but as gently as possible will make the whole thing work, taking care of a newborn is a huge process, it entails so much but it can be fun and rewarding or it can be devastating.